i dont want to be at this cvs. its not a promotion to have to clean up after milans incompetence. its messy, the techs are poorly trained and have attitudes, and it's a bunch of piles of paper. I can't work in this environment, and boss frank knows that. he knows im gonna clean it up, fix shit, teach future hubs frank how to do everything, and then when I'm finally attached to my customers and techs, I'm gonna get moved.


Milan only promoted Leah to lead tech cuz she wanted someone who was dumb enough to manipulate. I'm not manipulative. I'd rather have a competent lead tech than a moron who will let me insult her.

I told frank I spent the day hauling my books and got inspired to write.

but I was lying. I couldn't physically get out of bed until 3. Then after I managed that, I just laid on the floor in my room for 2 hours. I gathered up one box of books to get out of my room bc the thought of keeping them here when I want to give up writing was killing me. But then I got inspired to write. I wrote one page before I decided to quit and get coffee by myself and go to the movies alone while my family had dinner. I can't lie to you. I try. I wish I could. My lies are so much nicer. And crazy is a dealbreaker.

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light

I woke up laughing at the nightmares I used to have as a kid. if I'm gonna be woken up in the middle of the night, laughing is a good reason.

the nightmare i remember being scariest (which is now hilarious to me...kinda) was the recurring dream about fish flopping at the bottom of the stairs and all over the basement floor. There was a witch who put an invisible hole in the floor, and anyone who fell through the hole was transformed into a flopping fish. She used to live behind the fridge in the kitchen. she would play with the thermostat and controlled the light in the fridge, but sometimes she'd leave it on when the door closed bc that's what evil witches do (apparently?)

I don't remember having monsters in my closet or under my bed (those spots were too stuffed with toys and junk- I was a messy kid) to fit a monster. the flopping fish and evil fridge witch WERE my monsters in the closet.

I remember wondering (as an exceptionally bright child.....ok ok jokes) how the fish stayed alive outside the water so long if they were there night after night. I used to go downstairs in the morning- only after it was light out- to investigate. I used the lack of fish in the mornings as evidence that the witch was evil and made them disappear. I'm not sure why I didn't think of that as evidence that there were no fish. i guess nightmares and fears are irrational? oh Jeeze, who knew!

I think I grew out of it for the most part, but i still always avoid the one spot on the floor when I'm walking through the house at night.

I also used to have a recurring nightmare about monkeys and living in a monkey civilization. that one still scares me!